The perfect beach smell

The inner intellectual abhors the manipulated image of beach babes that are flooding today’s media. Fake breasts, dyed highlighted hair, gleaming teeth, self-tanned skin, smiles up to the ears for no apparent reason, gams that go on for miles. Not all of that is bad, really, and I insist on that point vehemently (I could do with the gams fine myself) but perhaps when the total equals Jessica Simpson (it's her birthday today, by the way) as Daisy in the remake of that formative kitsch TV series of the same name Dukes of Hazard, maybe one has second thoughts.
The inner perfumeholic though seeks the bewitching beachy smell that usually accompanies all that nude flesh exposure to the sun and paparazzi cameras, especially at this time of the year.
That smell is centered on an ingredient called monoi, a mix of tiare flower (a kind of gardenia, although it means flower in general in those exotic places) and vegetal oil, traditionally coconut.
Why we have connected the two in our unconscious, since beach smells originally were evocative of Tahiti, Fiji and other Polynesian insular beauties, is a mystery of modern pop culture, a subject that fascinates me personally by its sheer inexplicability.

Enter the futile hunt for the perfect beach smell, the perfect exotic monoi that will transform us in our minds into the voluptuary intellectual: a contradiction in terms, perhaps. But one isn’t bounded by either Epicureans or Stoics. One can combine elements in this multicultural, confusing world.
Several perfumes, mostly perfume oils though, have tried and some have come close: Monyette Paris is so much preferred by the Hollywood celebutantes that one might be excused for thinking they must get plastered with some by their agents as soon as they sign for a major part. The nag champa note in there has the ability to make it smoky though and combined with the very sweet aspect of the overall composition it becomes quite suffocating to me. Kai perfume oil is truer, greener gardenia and very nice at that, but the price for such a small roll-on must be one of the reasons behind capitalism’s success in today’s world - besides the antagonism of men while scoring female conquests, that is….
Bobbi Brown Beach is another effort to capture that elusive smell and the packaging alone makes me salivate as if I am indeed drinking a Caipirinha dancing the salsa along an endless beach. I quite liked the exotic, complex aspect of Songes by Annick Goutal, a fragrance whose floriental character reminds me personally of monoi quite a bit in the initial stages.

The nicest rendition of straight monoi however has got to be this summer’s new addition in a range that is famous for its sun products, Dior Bronze .
Dior, that bastion of makeup and skjncare, if not perfumes any longer (I will probably never forgive them the tampering with Dioressence and the launch of Miss Dior Cherie under that particular name) has a line that contains some of the best self-tanners on the market and some equally delightful sunscreens as well.
What does that have to do with perfume, you might ask?
Granted, we are not going to talk about an eau de toilette or eau de parfum, although Dior has issued a beachy smelling one called Sweet Sun. However, that one is not as nice as the new offering, because it has a discordant conjunction of citrus and powder like baby talc that “drowns” the floral in my opinion.
The new product I came across is called Monoi Gelée Moisturizer. 
Yes, I’m afraid my fix comes from a cream. Which might have connotations. Or not.

The fact is it’s a delicious smooth smell of light gardenia scent mixed with tropical coconut that does not come off as plastic, like the shredded variety that comes in a box or tin and which would embarrass even immigrants’ from poor countries kitchens with its foul rubbery odor. There is the lightest underscoring of vanilla and thus it never becomes oversweet. It blends in with the natural scent of the skin and smells sensuous and captivating. Only drawback is that it isn’t strong enough to smell across the room if that’s what you’re going for or to last long if you apply too lightly.

The formula is ethereal and non greasy, being halfway between a cream and a gel and whatever shimmer is in the product it is so miniscule that no one would ever notice it even if you pointed it out to them. It melts on the skin imparting a luminous glow that would be so in touch with your inner Haitian.
And the best part: it can be used not only on skin, but also on hair, thanks to its light greaseless texture, which completes the Gauguin-esque portrayal for you.
Take care not to seduce any hermit painters who have left family behind into abandoning them completely.

What is your perfect beach scent? I'd love to hear about it.

Artwork: Joyousness by Paul Gaugin (courtesy of edu.uni-klu.ac.at)

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Oh how I begin to hate you! Kidding, but you make me crave that which I cannot afford, sigh. Ah, monoi - how do I love thee let me count the ways...

I've been thinking of getting BB Beach oil, and what brand is this amazing cream you mention? I'd love to track it down!
Snarkattack - 19 08 06

G,
I am awaiting your impressions on BB Beach. The cream I mentioned is actually the subject of the post, so sorry for the confusion. The whole name is Dior Bronze Monoi Gelee Moisturiser. It's between a gel and a cream, very nice and retails around 23 euros. I hope it's clear now.
perfumeshrine - 22 08 06

Thanks for clarifying. That Dior gelee stuff sounds nice! I wasn't intending to, but when I heard that the BB oil is quite nice, I bought one on eBay, only because it was selling way under retail.
Snarkattack - 23 08 06

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